i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
