did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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