At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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