it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
