you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
