naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
