Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
operation have a gay friend backfired
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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