STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
