I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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