Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
When are your genitals available?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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