I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
