so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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