Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
