I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
