i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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