Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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