i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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