flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
How external is "for external use only"?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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