so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
pray to the hookup gods
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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