it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
