Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize