um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
