Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
