This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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