Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
