We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
