i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
