I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
