Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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