i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
