She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
