I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
