can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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