I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
