Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
