all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
