Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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