is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
