i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
