My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize