That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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