I can text with my tongue
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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