If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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