Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
we made out on top of his cat.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
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