yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize