it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
