what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
it hurts more in the daytime
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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