The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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