In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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