I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
