I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just had sex on a roof
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
