No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
