TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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