You know, be my cock's hype man.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
When did angry sex become our thing?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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