Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
