the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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