Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
