phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
