More tranny stories later!
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
