Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
