So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
