He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
