I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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